More prawns fewer burgers please

A  perfectly proper middle class prawn sandwich yesterday

A perfectly proper middle class prawn sandwich yesterday

Hot on the heels of “Adebayorgate” comes the latest FA attempt to turn our beloved game into a soccer version of The Archers. The FA suits, led by chinless-wonder-in-chief Ian Watmore, want to ban “unacceptable” and “hostile and abusive” singing and chanting at all football matches. So, as Premiershit clubs go all out to alienate their traditional fan bases with insane ticketing schemes; just as petulant, overpaid and arrogant pricks like Adebayor strut their stuff with impunity on the park (or down your face), or they beat the shit out of Joe Public a la “Stevie G” without receiving as much as a slapped wrist – YOU, yes YOU, the much maligned old football follower, are the real target of the FA’s wrath. Why is this? What is the logic behind it?

Singing and bantering the opposition is part and parcel of the experience of watching a football match, racist and/or homophobic abuse is rightly illegal. Arsenal fans were not guilty of either at the City of Manchester Stadium, so why the declaration of war on noisy fans? Let me allow Comrade Watmore to speak for himself:

“There are areas of chanting that go beyond what’s technically illegal, like racist or homophobic chanting, into what I think of as vile chanting. We in football should think about ways in which we can exorcise that from the game — but without glorifying it — because it puts the average person off. They don’t like it when it’s their own crowd doing it and, to the players, it can be declared as a hostile and abusive act as much as being racist or homophobic”

What is this soppy cunt on? He and they want you out, they don’t want you singing with your uncouth working class vowels, eating your vulgar beefburgers. He wants an anodyne, middle class, middle England version of the game, at all levels. But as the following fan comment on the Times online succinctly retorts, most of us are fully aware of the real motive:

“I think the real agenda is making sure that the ‘average’ fan aka the middle class Dad with 2.5 children keeps going to the games, buying the official merchandise, and then going home to watch re-runs on Sky”

If you’re working class, go to the football, and love a good old singsong whilst occasionally shouting “Fuck off lino! That was never fucking offside!!” You’re now a moving target in modern day Britain. Good luck to you.

Are you not entertained?

"Are you not entertained?"


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2 Responses to “More prawns fewer burgers please”

  1. glasfryn Says:

    football has become a non-contact sport being cheered on by mindless robots … thing will be you can’t clap you will have to use those stupid plastic things they used at the olympics and have little paper flags to wave about.
    football is being run by twats who I doubt ever played a sunday league game on the likes of Hove rec or Shoreham (buckingham) park where the game is played like it IS a mans game.
    these people will disinfect and cleanse the game to be watched by robots who will never have or have to see a bad tackle or the odd dig that still happens.
    that will be the day I stop watching.


  2. The Hovian Says:

    It kind of makes you want your team to stay out of the Premier League – it all becomes about marketing and fleecing the fans at that level. Those clubs (West Brom or Sunderland for instance) who don’t conform can’t compete and yo-yo between there and the Championship. The FA want 20 Man U’s with their thousands of fat-walleted non-Manc fans.

    This new move, if it happens, will be near to impossible to police, unless clubs are forced to go all-out Orwellian – more surveillance, more ejections and banning orders – for singing, giving the fingers or saying “fuck” loudly in a public place.

    I would be more than happy for the Albion to reach the Championship and stay there. Stick your Premier league right up your FA.

    Cheers mate

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