Archive for the ‘Season 2009-10’ Category

The Hovian Awards 2009/10

May 12, 2010

It’s gong time on The Hovian. Who floated my boat? Who stunk? Best of times, and worst of times? Read the results below

Player of the Season - Elliott Bennett

Player of the Season:

A fantastic season from our free scoring winger, Elliott Bennett

Runner Up: based on my man of the matches recorded throughout the season, Gary Dicker came second

Third Place: using the same criteria as runner up, step up Mister Nicholas Forster – we still miss you

Best Newcomer - Ashley Barnes

Best Newcomer:

His quick goal tally – a result of him shooting at goal every chance he gets, there can only be one winner for me – Ash Barnes.

Most Improved Player - Alan Navarro

Most Improved Player:

Without doubt – Alan Navarro

Best Match:

Charlton 1 – 2 Albion, 24th February 2010 – sex-wee football on a damp, murky night in South East London. (dis)honourable mention to the 3-1 win at scumhampton in November.

Worst Match:

Albion 2 – 4 Stockport County, 22nd August 2009 – Colin Hawkins’ comedy 2-minute cameo aside, we couldn’t even beat the League One no-hopers, this match drove a large nail into Russell Slade’s coffin.

Best Awayday - Villa Park

Best Awayday:

Villa Park, 24th January 2010. Great beer, great ground, great football. Cheers

Worst Awayday - Colchester

Worst Awayday:

Colchester, yeuch

Shooting his bolt too quick award:

Inigo Calderon, with honourable mention to Nicky Forster

The “Dick Dastardly” Pantomine Villain Award:

Alan “absolutely rapes him” Pardew, honourable mention to Scott McGleish, and the entire Leeds bench for celebrating like they’d just beaten Real Madrid in the Champions League final, while in fact they were only winning a draw against south coast minnows Brighton. Wankers.

Comedy Genius - The Hawk

The Hovian Comedy Genius Award 2009/10:

The Hawk getting red carded at home to Stockport, priceless.

The Hovian’s Cryst*l Ball for next season:

Albion nick a last gasp goal to grab the final play-off place, but we fall before Wembley. Gus Poyet leaves for Leeds. Alan Pardew goes to Portsmouth as the scummers miss out on automatic promotion by getting docked another 10 points for going bust again.


Albion 1 – 0 Yeovil

May 9, 2010

Gus Poyet - the best entertainment value at Withdean

Gone, finished, it all ended in a bit of a damp squib, in an equally damp and morbid Withdean Stadium – only one more season of this snoozefest. I’m nursing the obligatory Sunday headache, but the rot set in the minute I crawled out of my pit yesterday morning to go drinking then watch this nothing doing game.

I sat, for the very last time mind you, in with the gentlefolk of E Block, best view = quietest fans. Notwithstanding the meaningless nature of the game itself, it was the last chance to enjoy the “atmosphere” until the 2010/11 season. I fully expected the old girls sat near me to crack open the knitting, oblivious as they were to the fact a competitive association football match was unfolding but 50 metres from their plastic seats.  My season ticketed seat for that last seasonal hurrah at the Theatre of Trees is firmly ensconced in the bosom of Block H. I’ll take my chances among the celery (two kids were thrown out yesterday for lobbing said veggie missiles) and inflatable beach balls.

For those who are interested in such things – not me really – I give the new kit 4 out of 10, I simply don’t like it, it’s not the right thickness of stripe between blue and white, which should be 50/50, not 80/20.

The match – snappy passing, looks great, but it had the feeling of a training match about it. Yeovil never really turned up, and fittingly I was third in the queue for a burger and chips when Elliott Bennett rattled the opposition net. Good lad Ell.

Mitchell Walker was excellent in our goal, and alongside Brezovan next year, should make the job of regularly defending the Albion goal his without too much worry. Chris Holroyd had a good game, but he still needs to score (and of course won’t now) occasionally to convince most people.

Andrew Crofts was man of the match for me, a skipperly performance from a consummate professional. The rest were ok. But I write this angry in a way, yet looking forward even more next year to our clashes with shitty-arsed Alan Pardew and his tainted Saints. Inigo Calderon has repayed the mightily kind favour extended to him by Gus Poyet by refusing a deal for next year, opting instead to talk to the scummers up the coast. So long then, I hope we boot lumps out of you next year, you ungrateful little shit. But the plus side folks – ever present remember – is we have more reason to hate Pardew and his bunch of twats next season. Football lives and breathes this shit, so it’s good in a way too.

Last night I took the other half to the end of season party hosted by The Seagull Love Review team, at a city centre pub. A noisy night was had by all (cheers S & S), and it was good to meet the faces behind the pens of BHAFC’s only current fanzine. Me and my good mucker “Sergei’s Celebration” off NSC had our other halves (or dates) with us, so around midnight we headed off to find a quieter venue down East Street (impossible really, but we were well shanted).

Sergei is convinced young Lewis Dunk is following him around Brighton and Hove every Saturday night. We entered a rather insalubrious “meat market” kind of hostelry for a few knockbacks when we bumped into young Lew at the bar – one week after drinking beside him in my local on the Hove/Brighton border. Chris Holroyd was with him, and both of them were in clothing that would embarass even the most flamboyant of funboys – anecdotal evidence, if ever it was needed, that footballers throughout the ages are consistently the worst dressed men in society. That theory was compounded when outside later we saw a “tired and emotional” Lee Hendrie dressed in what can only be called a ladies silk scarf. Jesus Wept.

So that is the final chapter in the story of the 2010/11 season, I will put up my awards next week – best player etc. Next is the World Cup, which this site won’t be following – strictly BHA folks. After that there is the pre-season erm, season, when I shall be endeavouring to visit Portugal to watch the team and get shitfaced at every opportunity. Stay tuned – there will still be updates from football literature, casual-ology, and any events that affect the club in the close season. Cheers.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 7 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Andrew Crofts

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold)

(4-5-1) Walker; Painter, El-Abd, Elphick, Hoyte; Bennett, Crofts (Dicker 88), Hendrie, Navarro, Carole (Barnes76); Holroyd (Caskey 76).

Subs: Brezovan, McNulty, Dunk, Barnes, Caskey, Dicker,  Hart.

Attendance: 7323 (366 Yeovil)

League One table

Sunday, 9 May 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 46 42 95
2 Leeds United 46 33 86
3 Millwall 46 32 85
4 Charlton 46 23 84
5 Swindon 46 16 82
6 Huddersfield 46 26 80
7 Southampton 46 38 73
8 Colchester 46 12 72
9 Brentford 46 3 62
10 Walsall 46 -3 62
11 Bristol Rovers 46 -11 62
12 MK Dons 46 -8 60
13 Brighton 46 -4 59
14 Carlisle 46 -3 58
15 Yeovil 46 -4 53
16 Hartlepool 46 -8 53
17 Oldham 46 -18 52
18 Leyton Orient 46 -10 51
19 Exeter 46 -12 51
20 Tranmere 46 -27 51
21 Gillingham 46 -16 50
22 Wycombe 46 -20 45
23 Southend 46 -21 43
24 Stockport 46 -60 25

MK Dons 0 – 0 Albion

May 2, 2010

The last awayday of the 2009/10 season – a great day out with a pretty dire football match sandwiched in between. I was pretty much on the soak all day, so the match went past pretty fast, not fast enough to notice the stunning debut of 18 year old Lewis Dunk at centre back though.

Milton Keynes is one weird looking place. Alighting at MK Central railway station and you could be excused for thinking you’d just landed at Heathrow Terminal 3. A few forlorn Seagulls walked out with us to find a pub among the roundabouts and empty boulevards. We found one, typically looking like an airline departure lounge. A few shants later and we were off to Stadium MK in a taxi.

MK Dons are universally despised in the football world as “Franchise FC”, and the purists have a point. Even the hardest of football hearts could find a soft spot for the old Crazy Gang of Wimbledon FC, and when the club died and moved to Milton Keynes, most of us felt the spirit of the Wombles lived (and lives) on in AFC Wimbledon. But this is unfair on the good people of MK, and to be honest, I rather like their set-up in the land of the eternal roundabout.

Sure, the stadium was near empty, apart from the full to brimming away end. Half the seats haven’t gone in, but there’s something continental about Stadium MK. I would love to see a ground like this in the hands of a club like the Albion, and it could be a pointer to how Falmer will look and feel like in 2012, albeit a lot louder.

But the food and beer wasn’t cutting the mustard at all. Fucking three beers were a tenner, and I spent £4.40, yes £4.40! for a cold hotdog in a mouldy bap – no onions, no mustard.

The game was a bore, we spent most of the first half watching the crowd, and the little Hitler stewards rounding up the inflatable toy squadron as they swarmed in the sky just above our heads. What is wrong with having fun at a football match? Has anyone seriously been injured by an inflatable sheep?

The second half we spent in the gantry, the view was better than the comfy MK seats, and leaning on the railing to watch the game made me feel nostalgic for the days you could do just that on the terraces.

To be honest I wasn’t arsed about the result of this one – nothing to play for except a new contract for a few borderliners in the team. The defence looked solid, Gavin Hoyte had more than a decent game, El-Abd is better in the centre, but on yesterday’s viewing Elphick and Dunk were superb, a good omen for the BIG PUSH next season? Hope so.

In midfield no-one really caught the eye, and Chris Holroyd looked lost on his own up front. We need a new striker for next season more than anything in my opinion. That’s all in the future though – I enjoyed our final day out yesterday. As it happens, we stopped off in Brighton at a local boozer (which shall remain nameless) for a few pints (about 15) and a karaoke, and who should be in the bar with all his pals celebrating his big debut? Yes, young Lewis Dunk. A good lad, and my last awayday man of the match.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 6 out of 10 

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Lewis Dunk 

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold) 

 (4-5-1) Brezovan; Hoyte, El-Abd (Painter 66), Elphick, Dunk; Bennett, Crofts, Arismendi , Hendrie (Dicker 59), Carole (Navarro 59); Holroyd

Subs: Walker (GK), Tunnicliffce, Dicker, Caskey, Barnes, Cook, Navarro 

Attendance: 12023 (there was never that!) (1854 Albion)

League One table

Sunday, 2 May 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 45 44 95
2 Leeds United 45 32 83
3 Millwall 45 31 82
4 Swindon 45 17 82
5 Charlton 45 21 81
6 Huddersfield 45 27 80
7 Southampton 45 36 70
8 Colchester 45 11 69
9 Bristol Rovers 45 -10 62
10 Brentford 45 3 61
11 MK Dons 45 -7 60
12 Walsall 45 -4 59
13 Brighton 45 -5 56
14 Carlisle 45 -5 55
15 Yeovil 45 -3 53
16 Hartlepool 45 -8 52
17 Oldham 45 -16 52
18 Leyton Orient 45 -9 51
19 Gillingham 45 -13 50
20 Exeter 45 -13 48
21 Tranmere 45 -30 48
22 Southend 45 -19 43
23 Wycombe 45 -23 42
24 Stockport 45 -57 25

Last fanzine in Sainsburys

April 27, 2010

Ok, I couldn’t think of a decent title for this post, so a bit of surrealism never goes amiss. The Seagull Love Review no. 19 – the last issue of the 2009/10 football season – is out now. You can pick it up at Milton Keynes this Saturday, or at home against the Wurzels on May 8th. Or, you can buy it online on the TSLR blog here.

As well as The Hovian cartoon, TSLR’s co-ed asked me to write a bit about casuality and places where the interested can pick up natty threads in Brighton and Hove. I’ve copied and pasted the article below for your perusal, perhaps it may be a regular column next season in the mag? Watch this space, and get a quid out for the best TSLR yet, you tight bastards.

Casuals, dressers, trendies. Contrary to popular belief, today’s casual (and some even discard this description of what they call “the nameless thing”), is not some drunken thug in a Stone Island jacket. Today’s true casual is more terrace peacock than fighting cock. Study photographs and film of hooligans from after the 1980s casual heyday, you’ll mostly see badly dressed, overweight louts knocking seven bells out of each other. The true casual is above that, he has moved on, he’s been dandified. A true obsessive, he’d be horrified at the thought of his expensively bought and painstakingly put together match day outfit being ripped or muddied. He’s not gone soft, he just got smart.

Sure, the casual subculture grew out of the need for young men bent on trouble avoiding the police and opposition spotters, by dressing unlike other football fans – out went scarves and replica shirts. But it was much more than that, a sense of sartorial one-upmanship over the opposition – not just being better fighters – was paramount in the early casuals’ mindset. Add this to the eternal need for young working class men to dress better than their position in society might dictate, and you have a new form of youth (sub)culture, the first one that wasn’t music inspired, but football inspired.

Nowadays only a nutter or determined thug wants to keep fighting at football, the law leans heavily on those who want a ruck with like-minded thugs. But the sense of one-upmanship is very much alive, through the clothes and the sense of style. Only the early 1960s Mods had the same pride in appearance, always seeking new brands, avoiding the herd where possible. This doesn’t mean the casual is aloof from the ordinary team colour wearing fan, he seeks aloofness only from other casuals. He is at home among his own team fans, his support is just as strong, but usually less overt, he just likes his own clothes.

So, what does the casual wear today? That’s a tough one, it’s very much down to personal taste, but not following fashion, abhorring the metrosexual, the parrothead, the skinny jean wearing “funboy” in his Top Man horror show outfitting. Inspiration comes not from David Beckham, but from Sir Edmund Hillary. Outdoors is in – waxed cotton and windproofing. Traditional over the new, Clarks not JD. Casual brands range from tried and tested Barbour, CP Company,Fjallraven, Baracuta, adidas; to young, fresh designers who make exciting menswear, but with a firm nod to the olds before them –  6876, Folk, Garbstore, Albam, Edwin. You have to search for your own look, make it yours. Be careful though, Danny Dyer in his Fila Terrinda does not cut the mustard.

Apart from online, there’s a mecca for casuals to be found right here in Brighton,  modestly situated around the Ship Street/Dukes Lane area, and its HQ is without question Peggs & Son of Ship Street (formerly Minky of North Laine). Here is an emporium for the discerning collector of the casual things in life. Dukes Lane has View and Profile, for those Italian and American lifestyle pieces, with nods to the Paninaro and Steve McQueen.

You may think this is all nonsense, that’s fine, the way of the dresser is not for everyone. But for those whose interest may be piqued the casuals are still out there, they still look to see who’s wearing what. If you look good you will be noticed, only nowadays you won’t get a smack in the gob, you’ll be asked where you got your new coat, or it might be less than that, just a knowing smile from a like-minded obsessive.

Albion 2 – 1 Bristol Rovers

April 25, 2010

"Alright you janner?" - Ash Barnes in his Argoy-ool kit, hopefully for the last time

I have the hangover from hell today, so this match report will be short and sweet. The good news is that we’re 100% going to be playing League One football next season, yesterday’s win and Tranmere drawing made us mathematically safe. Withdean was warm and sunny, but the match didn’t really inspire until Glenn Murray got a straight red for an off the ball tussle with a Rovers defender. I’ll have to watch the TV footage because I saw nowt from Block A. Then one of theirs was sent off and the game came alive.

It was a pretty meaningless end of season match between two mid-tablers, but you wouldn’t have known it from the stats, 3 goals, 1 penalty, 2 red and six yellow cards. Fair play to Rovers for coming and making a game of it. Our best players were El-Abd, Crofts, Bennett, and the mightily impressive Ashley Barnes. Ash was brilliant yesterday for me, a class act from a very promising young player – we need to sign him up permanently over the summer.

Right, that’s it, I’m off to nurse my sore head, but I’m already looking forward to our visit to Franchise FC up in Milton Keynes on Saturday, my last awayday of the 2009/10 season.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 8 out of 10 

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Ashley Barnes 

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold) 

 (4-4-2) Brezovan; Hoyte, El-Abd, Elphick, Painter; Bennett, Crofts, Navarro (Arismendi 90), Hendrie (Dicker 74); Holroyd (Murray 61), Barnes 

Subs: Walker (GK), Murray, Dicker, Virgo, Carole, Cook, Arismendi 

Attendance: 6922 (312 Rovers)

League One table

Sunday, 25 April 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 44 41 92
2 Leeds United 44 33 83
3 Millwall 44 33 82
4 Swindon 44 16 79
5 Charlton 44 20 78
6 Huddersfield 44 26 77
7 Southampton 44 37 70
8 Colchester 44 12 69
9 Bristol Rovers 44 -7 62
10 Brentford 44 4 61
11 MK Dons 44 -7 59
12 Walsall 44 -4 58
13 Brighton 44 -5 55
14 Carlisle 44 -5 54
15 Oldham 44 -13 52
16 Hartlepool 44 -8 51
17 Yeovil 44 -6 50
18 Leyton Orient 44 -11 48
19 Exeter 44 -13 47
20 Gillingham 44 -14 47
21 Tranmere 44 -32 45
22 Wycombe 44 -21 42
23 Southend 44 -20 40
24 Stockport 44 -56

Southend 0 – 1 Albion

April 19, 2010

Fun in the sun at Roots Hall

We’re not mathematically safe yet, but it  will take a monumental fall from grace to see us relegated come May. Southend was bathed in glorious sunshine on Saturday, it felt like an end of season jolly, which was exactly what it was. 

We went for a bevvy in the Slug & Lettuce before the match, which meant we missed this carry on downtown, very naughty. I thought the away end was party central, marvellous scenes, the inflatable toy brigade are becoming a regular fixture at all our games, much to the bemusement of assorted home fans around the league. 


The match itself wasn’t a classic, both teams struggled to put a foot on the ball and there were mistakes galore. Glenn Murray is still out of sorts, and I think he is in serious danger of being shipped out in the 

"Don't pray for me Tommy Elphick..."

much awaited summer clearout by Gus Poyet. Ash Barnes outshone him in every way, and was nearly my man of the match, his goal looked a bit jammy from all the way back in our position behind the goal, but he’s got a nice touch and tries hard, definitely he should be considered in Poyet’s future plans. 

In midfield Crofts bossed the centre of the park, Arismendi played a bit better than Tuesday night, but he was subbed at half-time for Alan Navarro, who’s a better player, full stop. Elliott Bennet was our most industrious player and wins my man of the match again. 

The back four were solid enough, and it was great to see Marcos Painter back and playing nice  football again. But as I said, this was a pretty forgettable game, with one away game of the season left and safety almost guaranteed, the team looked tired and sluggish. But full marks to the travelling support once again, 1333 made the trip to sunny Essex, and all enjoyed ribbing the Saafend supporters, whose team look a lost cause for this season. 

So, we have three games left before the summer and the World Cup, I fully expect a lot of new faces in August and who knows, we could be pushing for promotion next year? Anything is possible with Poyet in charge, but I don’t think an away visit to Roots Hall will be in the fixture list, cheerio Shrimpers. 

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 7 out of 10 

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Elliott Bennett 

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold) 

 (4-4-2) Brezovan; Calderon (Hoyte 77), El-Abd, Elphick, Painter; Bennett, Crofts, Arismendi (Navarro 46), Hendrie (Dicker 65); Murray, Barnes 

Subs: Walker (GK), Holroyd, Navarro, Dicker, Virgo, Carole, Hoyte 

Attendance: 8503 (1333 Albion)

League One table

Monday, 19 April 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 43 39 89
2 Leeds United 43 30 80
3 Millwall 43 32 79
4 Swindon 43 16 78
5 Charlton 43 20 77
6 Huddersfield 43 20 74
7 Colchester 43 12 68
8 Southampton 42 36 66
9 Bristol Rovers 43 -6 62
10 MK Dons 43 -4 59
11 Brentford 42 3 57
12 Walsall 43 -6 55
13 Carlisle 43 -4 54
14 Brighton 43 -6 52
15 Hartlepool 43 -6 51
16 Oldham 42 -13 50
17 Yeovil 43 -6 49
18 Leyton Orient 43 -10 48
19 Gillingham 43 -12 47
20 Exeter 43 -13 46
21 Tranmere 42 -31 44
22 Wycombe 43 -21 41
23 Southend 43 -20 39
24 Stockport 43 -50 25

Gillingham 1 – 1 Albion

April 14, 2010

There will always be a little corner of Withdean in Gillingham’s green and pleasant land

That all-important win that will consolidate our League One status for next year still proves elusive. Last night’s game was a complete comedy of errors, as maddening as it was ultimately entertaining. We were both jammy and unlucky, the overall performance was pretty fucking poor to be honest, but also strangely thrilling, a footballing enigma. And the bright side (there’s always one with the Albion folks) is that there’s still a purpose and meaning to our season, at least until the next game. We’re not out of the relegation woods just yet.

The Priestfield Stadium always gets stick from Brighton fans, probably because our darkest hours as a football club were experienced there as the disenfranchised, the soccer homeless. The team were awful when Gillingham was our “home”. But, forget about all that, I actually like the place. I like the fact that it’s in the heart of the local community, I like its lob-sided stands – the away end with its roofless meccano seating should be seen as a homage to our beloved Withdean – it can generate a good atmosphere and did so last night. What’s there to complain about?

A steward told us that Albion had brought 1200 to Priestfield, and that they were expecting 600-700. So naturally things were cramped on the open stand, but they were strangely quiet too. The match was the reason the big travelling support were subdued, inflatable rings and beachballs aside. Gills support was as rowdy as you’d expect from a team battling to stay up. And battle is what their team did.

Gillingham played hard and upset the fancy football Albion have been exhibiting of late, they wanted this more than us. They took their chance well for their equaliser, and missed a great chance to take the lead by turning a free kick onto our post. We, on the other hand, had bags of chances, but if we were still playing this game now today, we still wouldn’t have scored. Total pants.

The main reason for this anomaly is down to one man – stand up Mr Glenn Murray. Muzza will want to forget this match, and sharpish. The team as a whole were mediocre, so I will only comment on individuals who stick in the mind. First the pluses: Lee Hendrie started last night, and though he tired in the second half and was subbed, showed enough class to show he has a lot to offer this club if he stays, he’s a smart player. Adam El-Abd was immense last night – man of the match by a country mile – he carried the back four and outjumped players much bigger than him. I would even suggest that right now he’s our first choice centre back and Gus Poyet will be looking for someone to partner him from now on, and that’s the mark of the guy, a trier, a plucky, no-nonsense, no frills player who has fought hard to get his chance. Good luck to the lad, he deserves it, and his goal was hard-earned too.

Now the minuses, and be warned, this won’t be pretty. In order of severity, starting from the least guilty to the outrageously bad they are: Gavin Hoyte, low on confidence and probably ability, the lad is a poor substitute for Marcos Painter, ’nuff said. Adam Virgo. Tommy Elphick has had a poor couple of games lately, and was rightly dropped, but Virgo is lost at the minute. Slow, sluggish, clumsy and prone to hoof. My knuckles whitened everytime he got skinned by their fast forwards, not good enough. Murray – shocker – no other way to describe it, Gills fans were pissing themselves at every missed opportunity, the penalty miss was a foregone conclusion as soon as he stepped up. I’ve never seen the big man play so bad, he was simply awful. But he wasn’t as bad as Diego “£3million loanee from Stoke” Arismendi. This guy must either be:

A) A secret close Uruguayan relative of Gus Poyet

B) Some random bloke signed by Stoke after they saw him (or someone who looks very like him) on a fuzzy YouTube video

How the guy is worth £3million is incomprehensible. He was utterly gash, the only time he did anything right was head a dangerous corner away once. He has no close ball control, can’t pass, he just didn’t want to know. The game changed 100% to the good when little Alan Navarro came on for him and started fizzing the ball across the park the way it should be done. But again, the bright side – Arismendi can only improve on that dismal display, he was shite.

So for me a draw was a fair enough result – we had more chances, they played better. Southend should be another tense affair on Saturday. Toodle pip.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 5 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Adam El-Abd

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold)

(4-5-1) Brezovan; Calderon, El-Abd, Virgo, Hoyte; Bennett, Crofts, Arismendi (Navarro 68), Hendrie (Dicker 78), LuaLua (Barnes 58); Murray

Subs: Walker (GK), Holroyd, Navarro, Dicker, Barnes, Carole, Elphick

Attendance: 7997

League One table

Wednesday, 14 April 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 42 38 86
2 Leeds United 42 31 80
3 Millwall 42 33 79
4 Charlton 42 21 77
5 Swindon 42 16 77
6 Huddersfield 42 19 71
7 Colchester 42 14 68
8 Southampton 41 35 63
9 Bristol Rovers 42 -6 61
10 MK Dons 42 -3 59
11 Brentford 41 3 56
12 Carlisle 42 -3 54
13 Walsall 42 -6 54
14 Yeovil 42 -5 49
15 Brighton 42 -7 49
16 Hartlepool 42 -8 48
17 Oldham 41 -14 47
18 Exeter 42 -11 46
19 Leyton Orient 42 -12 45
20 Gillingham 42 -13 44
21 Tranmere 41 -33 41
22 Southend 42 -19 39
23 Wycombe 42 -22 38
24 Stockport 42 -48 25

When football must come second

April 9, 2010

Festivities are off this weekend for me – I won’t be at the match or online much. I have a family medical crisis to deal with that makes the dramas of football seem trivial by comparison.

I will be at both the Gillingham and Southend matches next week, so things should be back to normal then. Cheers

Hartlepool 2 – 0 Albion

April 5, 2010

Lordy! Nefarious Westminster Monkey(hanger) and celebrity bellend fan Peter Mandelson

I’m not at the game today – instead I’m supposed to be enjoying Easter at home with my missus and a visit to monkey hanging land wasn’t on the cards. But, I have to make a visit to hospital at 2.30pm today, so I’ll be missing most of the live commentary for this one.

Fully expecting a good win today to put a line under our League One status for next year. No Andrew Crofts in the squad, don’t know what’s happened there, Lee Hendrie makes his full debut in his place. Gavin Hoyte starts after a long time on the fringe. It seems weird with no Nicky Forster in the team – though not as weird as watching him score a penalty in the red and black of Charlton the other day.

I’m back from the hossie and wired up to Seagulls Player, nothing much happened in the first half hour. Half-time, Albion have had the best of the play, nothing to show for it. First chance on goal for Hartlepool, 1-0, kinell. LuaLua on for Hendrie on 57 minutes. Poyet throws in his last hand – Holroyd on for Carole, and Arismende for Navarro, hopefully get a sniff out of this one – shite game by the sounds of it. 2-0, sweeping move from the monkey hangers.

Dicker has a shot pushed onto the bar right at the death. Game over, glad I didn’t travel to this one. We seem to have missed Crofts and Murray badly today. Mandy will be happy though.

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold)

(4-5-1) Brezovan; Calderon, El-Abd, Elphick, Hoyte; Bennett, Hendrie (LuaLua 57), Navarro (Arismende 64), Dicker, Carole (Holroyd 64); Barnes

Subs: Walker (GK), Holroyd, LuaLua, Arismende, Barnes, Smith , Cook


League One Table

5 Apr 2010 16:59 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 40 39 85
2 Swindon 40 19 76
3 Millwall 40 29 75
4 Leeds United 40 27 74
5 Charlton 40 21 74
6 Huddersfield 39 19 65
7 Colchester 40 12 65
8 Bristol Rovers 40 -1 61
9 Southampton 39 30 57
10 MK Dons 40 -3 57
11 Brentford 39 0 52
12 Carlisle 40 -2 51
13 Walsall 40 -6 51
14 Brighton 40 -6 48
15 Yeovil 40 -7 45
16 Hartlepool 40 -9 45
17 Exeter 40 -11 44
18 Gillingham 40 -9 43
19 Oldham 38 -13 43
20 Leyton Orient 40 -13 41
21 Tranmere 39 -29 41
22 Southend 40 -17 38
23 Wycombe 40 -27 32
24 Stockport 40 -43 25

Albion 2 – 2 Scummers

April 2, 2010

Southampton FC release new poster of their skipper Dean Hammond

Cracking match last night, this one had everything and was a reminder of what is great about this sport called football. Drama, good guys, pantomine villians, angry and animated fans, quarrelling team benches, and end to end football. And of course one complete bellend in the shape of….not Dan Harding, strangely enough…..but the hitherto rather liked and respected other ex-Seagull, Dean Hammond. Total cock muncher.

Our usual mid-week pre-match routine – a few bevvies downtown then an Albion Kebab before Withdean was different in that there were strange looking old bill (Hampshire’s finest) posted outside the kebab house with our own usual Sussex lot. Did they really fear the visit of assorted muppetry from Southampton? Surely having to even drive past Portsmouth would have made most of these idiots piss their pants. Overkill and unnecessary.

I sat again in Block E for this match, and got to look at Alan “totally raped” Pardew at close hand. Again, the words “dick” and “head” kept floating around my head as I watched the little twat try to wind up Gus Poyet (not hard really is it?), and the big watch looking gestures whenever his dirty bastard team thought we were time-wasting. Bellend.

Albion started well enough, and took a deserved lead from my man of the match, Elliott Bennett. Young Ell is looking like a long shot specialist nowadays, and his goal and subsequent ding-dong battle with Harding was one of the main focal points of the game for me. After that Southampton dominated the half. They are undoubtedly a very good side, and it showed last night as the remainder of the first period we battled hard to contain them.

But, the game really came alive when former Albion skipper Hammond, who now wears the armband for the scummers, scored a well-deserved goal on 41 minutes. Before this match our fans had a lot of respect for local(ish) lad Dean, he played with distinction for the stripes and left on good terms. Along with former club stalwart and manager Dean Wilkins, he was always going to get a warm reception at Withdean. Dan Harding was always going to be the focus of the boo-boys, as he was more mercenary than Hammond, and he left for Leeds in a flash (where he was shite after the furore over his free transfer was settled). But the second Hammond decided to run from Block A to G with his hand to his ear and beckoning the whole South Stand to appreciate his goal, ten years of (what we thought was) mutual respect was gone forever.

Hammond nearly sparked a pitch invasion, and the mood was exacerbated when the ref failed to book him (he was already on a yellow) for it, especially as he was penalising our lot for a lot less. The game after that went into overdrive and was the better for it. Withdean was almost a cauldron of noise, even the geriatrics over in the North Stand were having a shout and a sing – outstanding effort.

Our best players were Crofts, Elphick, Painter and our two second half subs – LuaLua’s cross for Ashley Barnes’ headed goal was pure class. Barnes is BHAFC’s very own Davy Fairclough.

A draw was probably a fair result overall, but we looked more like winning it than them. One worrying event was losing Marcos Painter in injury-time, I still haven’t heard the extent of his injury yet, but hopefully he isn’t crocked as he’s been a rock in that left-back role.

So, the big crowd of nearly 8000 left happy enough, some think these two teams will be the ones to beat in League One next year. I’m not so sure about them or us, but we have a derby fixture for sure now, our two games against Southampton this year have been brilliant, and I can’t wait to see them again next year, along with Deano, Dan and Pardew. Cheers.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 8 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Elliott Bennett

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold)

(4-5-1) Brezovan; Calderon, El-Abd, Elphick, Painter; Bennett, Crofts, Navarro (Arismende 79), Dicker, Carole (LuaLua 58); Murray (Barnes 62)

Subs: Walker (GK), Holroyd, LuaLua, Arismende, Barnes, Virgo, Hendrie

Attendance: 7784

League One table

Friday, 2 April 2010 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Norwich 38 40 82
2 Leeds United 38 29 71
3 Millwall 38 28 71
4 Swindon 38 13 70
5 Charlton 38 19 68
6 Colchester 38 15 65
7 Huddersfield 38 18 62
8 Bristol Rovers 38 0 58
9 MK Dons 38 -1 57
10 Southampton 38 29 54
11 Brentford 37 0 50
12 Carlisle 38 -3 48
13 Brighton 39 -4 48
14 Walsall 38 -7 47
15 Yeovil 38 -6 44
16 Leyton Orient 38 -10 41
17 Gillingham 38 -11 40
18 Exeter 38 -13 40
19 Oldham 37 -14 40
20 Hartlepool 38 -13 39
21 Tranmere 37 -28 38
22 Southend 38 -14 37
23 Wycombe 38 -25 32
24 Stockport 38 -42 24